moving on...

"it' s his lost not mine"

having a break up with him doesn't mean this is the end of my world..

there's only two possibility why we end it up with a break-up .. it's either he doesn't worth my love or he don't deserve to be loved by me.

i also know how to stand up and say the word enough is enough!

move on!! that's the only word i can say for now!

i am still in the stage of accepting the fact that we are really not meant to be!!

this is life,, and this is me,,! always in-love but not being love back!

"twenty"

-This is the very first time that i use to write a blog.. and honestly.. i still don't know if u can call it as a blog..



In my "twenty" years of living. I have lots of experience and lots of issues that I have faced! . Education, family, God, love-life and sex.

•EDUCATION

I cannot say that i am a gifted one or a wise person but I know I have enough knowledge to show and to prove something in all of the people around me. When i was in elementary.. i just dreamed of being a simple math teacher. But everything change when i got in high school. I use to be observant, perfectionist, and i ask anything that bothers me. I don't mind what kind of issue or thing i am asking for, all i care that time is for me to know the answer no matter what. And that time i start of dreaming something higher.. something beyond my limits though i know the fact that it was hard for me to reach it! I dreamed of being a "LAWYER" someday. But i guess. this is life and this is me.. that profession wasn't really for me. As I entered college life my mind don't know what to course should i pick. The one that is in demand? the one that my mind and heart is saying or my passion? Well, None of them wins. I took up BSBiology which really never came out of my mind. And that's it. Making a wrong choice can really makes one's life so different and miserable! I use to stop on college when i was on my second year in the course. And i can't do anything. I just face the reality and accept it with all my heart!



•FAMILY I cannot say that i am just a simple person with a simple living. I am not rich nor a poor one.. I do believe that I belong with an average family. I have my mom and a dad and i also had one younger brother. We live in a simple life, every day was all been the same..Nothings really special about us. Just like an ordinary family, we eat 3 times a day 21 times a week 84 times a month and 1,764 times a year. My father is the one who is responsible in our living. He raised us by working as a "construction worker". And obviously, my mom is the one who is responsible in taking care of me and my brother. I am sure u are asking now why did i say that why can't i consider myself as a simple person. Well to prove it. In my "twenty years of living in this world I see lots of things.. lots of changes.. lost of developments and so on.. "But" still i haven't seen myself improving. YES!. You've heard it right.. We might say that theres also a lot of changes with me but i cannot say that i improve a lot.. As a "twenty" year old person i still cannot live on my own.. I am still depending with my parents."Twenty" years of living.. "twenty" years of struggle and "twenty" years of happiness in my life but still.. I don't know who really i am and still living with a childish act!



•God I was born as a Roman Catholic. And honestly.. I cannot say that I have a very religious family. We don't go to church often. We don't pray before and after we eat! We just believe that there's a God and there is Jesus Christ who save us. But everything was change when i was 14. I use to attend some bible schools and prayer meetings. And yes.. i was change and turned into a christian living. But my family?? well too bad they still haven't change. I cannot push them into something that they really don't want to. I have tried to introduce them into Christ but what they just think of me is that i am getting paranoid and out of my mind. So i better stop it and let them believe on what or who the believe to. But still.. I always have them in all of my prayers.


•Love-life The main issue of my personality was here. At my age of "twenty" years old.. I still don't know who really i am. I consider myself as a bisexual. Yes.. i do fall in-love with a girl and with a same sex of me at the same time! Too bad to know but i admit it and consider it as the hardest part of my life given to me.

I have been into so many relationship with a same sex of mine. And believe it or not. I cried so many times with a guy more than my ex girlfriends. I have been fooled also and been cheated with lots of guys. I have wasted money with them but i didn't feel any regrets with that kind of issue!



•SEX

I have face this issue in my early childhood! and yes,, i have already experienced sex when i was 6 year's old with one of our neighbor. And till now.. i have sex with different guys. I am not thinking of my future anymore.. all i care now is to enjoy and have give the pleasure that whats my body need. And i can say that it was cause by a wrong way of raising a child!

-rcorpuz